So it’s been a while and I haven’t written anything. I have had probably in the realm of 5 to 10 blogs over my life, and the only one I ever wrote regularly in was my livejournal. I was 13, and had a lot of feelings, and hadn’t yet realized those feelings sucked and were uninteresting. Even then I don’t think I wrote so much as posted really pensive half sentences in the hopes that internet friends would ask about my life.
However lately now I am reading blogs, and seeing other people write, and post cool things, and be creative. This does two things to me:
a) I start thinking “I could totally do this!”
b) post-part a, I think “I can’t do it! I lack something necessary! I am a horrible slacker with no self control and no money. I should give up and delete everything.”
c) I’m gonna post something. Crap. What’s my password.
This current bout of productivity is inspired by Hyperbole and a Half, because if that crazy messed up female can post, maybe I can too. I’m not scared of spiders, and I have never eaten an entire cake. I think maybe that makes for a less interesting blog though.
The other inspiring blogs are random ones I hit on Pinterest. They had girls doing awesome things with their hair, and wearing the very best glasses, and all sorts of amazing things I wish I could do. All I have to offer to the world is my opinion on cupcakes.
Here’s how I feel about cupcakes (hopefully maybe I’ll edit this later, with a picture of a cupcake and a diagram. But for now, I hope you can understand my words well enough to get the point): cupcakes are delicious. Yet they are also full of calories, disproportionally so. Also, I really only care about certain aspects of the cupcake. I like frosting. I like the cake part too, but I like my cake and my cupcakes and other frosted things to be about 50% cake and 50% frosting. Maybe 48% cake, 50% frosting, and 2% sprinkles. Sprinkles honestly never taste like anything, but psychologically they make you think the cupcake is better than a cupcake without sprinkles.
However, in real life, cupcakes are actually like 30% frosting and 70% cake. Someday I hope to invent very shallow muffin pans and very shallow cupcake papers to allow for my perfect icing:cake ratio, but for now my solution is simple (although objectionable if you don’t have a friend who really likes cake and are adverse to throwing food away).
Pull the cupcake in half. Icing half, and bottom half. Muffin top, and slender muffin part.
Eat the top.
Put the bottom back in the tray for a friend (or throw away).
Now when you do this, you might want to be sneaky and quick, since some people think this is terrible and wasteful. It is, in some ways. However, I think it’s also stupid to put food in your mouth that you don’t really love and enjoy, unless it’s healthy (then you have to). Cupcakes are not healthy. Therefore, if you don’t really care about that bottom half with no frosting on it, throw it out. That’s got to be at least 100 calories you’re not eating. That 100 calories of mild pleasure you didn’t eat sort of counterbalances the probably 150-200 calories of extreme pleasure you did eat, so I think really, this is kind of healthy. Tops of cupcakes are healthy. I mean, you can eat some vegetables later too.
